“Eziaha eat ooo. You are a married woman. You are trying to be a model abi? You better eat…”
Now that was one of my aunties speaking to me at my brother’s wedding recently, protesting about my lepa self. But I have to tell this other funny ‘Model’ story at this point.
I was younger and had enrolled in French school during one of the ASUU strikes when, obsessed with being skinny, I did the crazy thing of LOCKING MY TEETH. In dental lingua, it is called ‘wiring’, and even though there are clinical reasons for doing that, most people do it for aesthetics. Lock your teeth and lose the weight faster because you cannot eat anyways, just drink so you must lose weight.
They literally sew your teeth together with ‘dental wires’. So not only do you not eat, you also don’t talk well. By force ‘fune’ (phonetics) lol
I don’t know why I did that nonsense as I wasn’t even fat. Anyways, my BIL then decides to lecture me, and part of what he said was that I am trying to be a model, but that those kind of fashion models don’t matter, that the real models are people like Dora Akunyili, Oby Ezekwesili and Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala.
Women who at that point were all doing AMAZING things in Nigeria.
It was such an epic conversation because we don’t even have that kind of relationship, but I never forgot it. The contrast between fashion models and role models.
Here I am now, almost 15 years later and I am still hearing the ‘you want to be a model’ gist.
Just in case you wondered, I lost CRAZY WEIGHT when I had the wires for about 10days or so.
Just in case you wondered again, would I advise it? Well, I frankly think some people MAY need that kind of help to at least jump start their journey. However, you can’t live with wires forever, so when you take it off, would you still be DISCIPLINED?
O.K. this is not why we are here. I want to share some feedback from my Squaddies who lost weight the right way, and then started to get the ‘You are too skinny’ comment; something I know all too well.
Like really, these were people who joined my Squad to LOSE WEIGHT and now they are at the point of people telling them they are too skinny.
Let us start with one of them who gave what I almost wanna call a ‘WORD OF KNOWLEDGE’ haha.
Let us call her Wade…
On my weight loss transition, I had various versions of hearing I was too skinny.
Some said out rightly ‘you are too skinny’ and they hit hard, but I would initially say I was at my target weight. After a while, I would just nod my head when they say ‘Stop it’s enough’.
I did at some point look in the mirror and not like what I saw almost to the point of agreeing with them, but I soon quickly realized that their comments were an indirect way of admiring my determination. And a few of them ‘fessed up to that so I put two and two together. There was a time I had to gain like 2kg though because I went really down about 6kg from my ideal weight.
The height of the ‘You are too skinny’ season was when a brother from church called genuinely concerned. I was tempted to say ‘I am looking for 5million naira’ so he would say ‘Sister God bless you’ and leave me alone.
Ok so the Word of knowledge for me was where she said their comments are ’an indirect way of admiring your determination’. At least this is true for MOST so instead of feeling bad, I learned too to be proud.
Ok now, let us move to my baby girl who didn’t spare anyone who came for her. I mean, when she was fat yawl were yabbing and now you wanna complain?
Hear from Jennifer, one of my more consistent squaddies when she was in the squad…
In the initial stage they talk about how fat one is. They replace ‘Good Morning’ with ‘You’re so fat’. After the weight loss they talk about how skinny one is by associating it to bad health. ‘Good morning’ becomes “Are you sick? You look skinny this diet is too much o”.
At this point where I currently am, I don’t pay attention anymore, because the end (my weight loss goal) justifies the means. In the beginning, I used to respond to them (the critics) but now that my transformation is more glaring, I don’t bother responding. My self Confidence keeps me on track until I reach my goal weight. My response to my critics and self-imposed advisers remains “Okay, I’ve heard”, after all everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
As in, we are all entitled ooo.
One thing I also quickly learned was that my reaction to even the same thing was different depending on who said it. I recall a good friend saying to me recently, ‘Ah, your hips have disappeared’. I was not in the least offended but if it was someone I didn’t really like? I may have said something snappy in response
My amazing Squaddie here said I didn’t have to keep her anonymous too yay!!!
Hear from Norenso…
As I progressed on my weight loss journey, I felt very bad when folks told me I was too skinny. And what I did most times was never to argue with them and just maintained my silence as they spoke. However, in my heart I was determined not to be distracted by their feedback.
What actually kept me going was how good I felt in my clothes. I was able to wear whatever I wanted as I had my waist snatched back. So with time their comments did nothing to deter me.
Walahi that also keeps me going. I literally look good in ANYTHING. No struggles at all.
Love how she said she felt very bad. Weight matters remain sensitive so I have learned that I must pay some extra mind when I am talking to a person directly. In fact, I NEVER bring up your weight in convos, just that people see me and suddenly feel a need to get into confession and self-yabbing mode. Phew.
I LIKE IT… NOT AT ALL!!!
Oh and let us end with someone I consider not just a Client anymore but friend and sister, Dami
Gosh Dami’s weight loss was epic so I had to hear from her. Somehow though, apparently people mind their business A LOT in Australia. Imagine if she was in Nigeria haha…
You are too slim
You are not fine again
You look like a teenager
You look stressed
Those were the kind of one-liners I had.
I didn’t have many harsh comments, to be honest. Just here and there and I can’t remember reacting anyhow asides just giving a smile and not allowing the conversation to continue.
I also didn’t feel saddened by their comments. I knew I had lost a lot of weight so I was somehow expecting it.
I completely agree with not allowing the convo continue. I had to do a lot of that at my brother’s wedding. Just smile and nod as I change location.
Okay, so now you know that the struggle is REAL for even those who have lost the weight.
I have also learned that sometimes people are not being mean. They have just seen you one way for a LONG time and then…WHAM, you drop four (4) dress sizes. The reaction is normal for most. But still, doesn’t justify it especially when it makes us feel somehow.
I end with what I heard from Joel Osteen way back. He said a part of his daily confession is ‘I weigh what God wants me to weigh’
God knows what weight at which my health is optimized. For me, it is between 74 and 76kg so right now, with my scale looking like it wants to go lower than 74kg, guess who has been eating swallow daily… Not. Haha.
Do you have any ‘You are too skinny’ experiences after your remarkable weight loss? Do share below in the comments. And if you are looking to lose weight, we are your best bet…