‘I remember when I could go to the market by myself. Now I cannot do it and I have to pay someone to help me with my shopping. Enjoy it while you can. Very soon, you will not be able to do it again…’
That was the response of a dear friend to the image you see of me above in Mile 12 market, in Lagos which I had posted on my whatsapp status. I laughed, and didn’t respond because I already decided I would be better off using my platform to respond to a wider audience. Now, keep on reading to see some lifestyle changes we are making that we SHOULD NOT BE MAKING as we get busier/fancier/richer/more popular/more bourgeois.
A couple months ago, a dear friend was in Lagos and we agreed to meet up during the only time window that was open for me; right inside an eatery in Lagos Island, on a Saturday morning, before the market was fully open. I loved hanging out with her and when we were done, we walked closer to the market for her onward journey, while I started my shopping.
Before we parted, she said she had a Q for me and didn’t want me to be offended by it.
‘Shoot!’ I replied
And she said considering my status, how would I feel about bumping into someone I knew in the market, and they saw me shopping in Lagos Island.
The question took me unawares and I found it funny as I have NEVER considered shopping in Lagos Island beneath me. But I understood where she was coming from. Quite frankly, if anything, it made me SO GRATEFUL that I wasn’t like a Celebrity or anything, like Mercy Chinwo for example, who would cause a stampede in the market. And I silently hoped that no matter what, I still keep that choice of being able to shop where I want, without any form of hindrance.
That said, I wonder how many other lifestyle changes we are making as our statuses, and bank accounts, change, usually to higher, and how they are impacting our health, both physical and mental.
Now disclaimer, of course, I agree that some changes HAVE to be made, but I would want you to ask your self WHY before embarking on any lifestyle change. Sometimes, it is just following the herd.
For example,
You can AFFORD to go to the market BUT you fall for society pressure that ‘someone like you should not be found in Lagos Island’.
You can AFFORD to cook your own food
You can AFFORD to DRIVE yourself, but someone like you should have a driver, so you get one.
Now, on the surface, these seem harmless, but when you ask yourself WHY, search deeper for the answer, and put it in the context of your life, you may realize that you actually should not outsource completely shopping, cooking and driving.
To go deeper, another Q to ask myself is ‘What am I doing with the TIME saved by outsourcing these?’
What is the opportunity cost?
Am I truly that busy that I cannot afford to do these regularly if not all the time?
Can I strategically work these activities into my life in such a way that they actually enrich my life and not just waste my time?
The time I am even saving, what am I using it for?
So let me use my own life as an example…
Recently, we CONSIDERED getting a Driver. Per usual, I wanted to be sure it was the BEST decision with MAXIMUM BENEFITS and giving us a NET POSITIVE effect when we do the maths. I didn’t just want it to be peer-pressure, and because we could ‘afford it’ especially given our ‘status’.
So pen on paper, yes, my husband could do with someone driving him to and from work, while he relaxes, but when we dug deeper, we realized that getting a driver may look good to the status, but
1. He may end up working MORE on his commute since someone was on the wheels anyways. Driving meant you had to unplug from work and focus on the road.
2. A driver would rob him of the absolutely PRICELESS solitude which he enjoyed on his commute practicing deep thinking, mediation, listening to sermons and praying.
At the end, we decided getting a driver was a NET NEGATIVE, and so we are driver-less!
And we LOVE it!
And it is not negatively affecting our lives in ANYWAY!
Now, for me, can I completely outsource going to the market? Whether to someone, or just shopping 100% online!
Sure!
I can afford it!
My ‘status’ deserves it LOL
And hey, kini big deal?
But NO!
I absolutely LOVE human interactions. I love the haggling that happens in the open markets. I love touching humans, smiling at complete strangers, and telling women with babies strapped on their backs as they go about their work ‘well done’.
I love beating down prices to the barest minimum, and then paying more just to support a market woman who can do with the extra money anyways.
I love running into unbelievable deals and finding stuff I didn’t even realize I needed and didn’t make it to my list.
I absolutely LOVE how I feel when I return from a shopping experience. Physically. Mentally, emotionally, and even financially!
I may be tired in the physical BUT it is the BEST kind of tired.
And ‘tomorrow’, I will go again!
So yes, while it is not unwise, very safe, and possible for me to go to the open market, you better believe that you wold find me in Lagos Island, Mile 12, and Bariga.
Yes, sometimes, wisdom will demand that I outsource, but trying to maintain whatever ‘status’ society labels me with, and tries to dictate the appropriate action ‘someone like me’ should take, is something I will NEVER allow myself to be unwisely constrained by.
So, again, ask WHY?
Do the maths, is it a NET POSITIVE or NEGATIVE!
And then make the best decisions that will not negatively impact our physical, mental or emotional health.
It’s even in Nigeria we do this status thing. Where someone like me will be looking at ‘status’ LOL
I also did a post similar to this, ONLINE SHOPPING: A lifestyle factor that may be affecting your health.
And you can check out my YouTube video on More Money? Do These!
Until next time, stay healthy!
Eziaha
Your Fave Health Coach!