I am super EXCITED to launch this series known as #CEOriginals where I would share original, real content from my squaddies on a particular topic. CEO means CoachE’ Originals
Kicking off with something that affects me deeply… QUITTING ON (or not even starting) your weight loss journey. A lot of times, I share transformation pictures and I am sure most people think that hey, see how easy and straight forward this is…
But i tell you sis, it is NOT!!! This stuff is HARD and hardly straightforward. Which is why I decided to bring the flip side to it… When people QUIT!!!
Gosh, whenever anyone tells me they are quitting on my program, I promise you my heart skips. It is even more painful when they just disappear and all my efforts to reach and encourage them just falls flat. You see, I am a GREAT Coach, and I really do give 150% but I still feel like I failed if there are 149 people on board but one person quits.
Anyways, I decided to round up a few of my Squaddies to ask them why they quit (or just didn’t start at all) and I am sharing with fake names. I needed them to be as authentic as possible hence the pseudo names. I really do not have any advice to add to it. I just wanted to share authentic stories and have the Holy Spirit do what needs to be done with it as you read…
We kick off with Adaora, and I love her angle on emotional intelligence as opposed to just discipline as a major player here…
My motivation for weight loss was borne from self-hate and self-loathing.I got depressed and my body shut down such that even when I was not eating, I gained all the weight back.
It’s not discipline that makes us not comfort eat, its emotional intelligence- understanding and knowing how to effectively process your emotions and resolve them.
When I discipline myself not to comfort eat, I engage in other forms of risky behavior because I need an outlet for the confusing emotions I feel- I self-harm, I sometimes drink or smoke weed or binge watch movies (which is not normal behavior when I am my optimal self) but I haven’t resolved the issue. When we become Christians, we are not allowed all the vices that we use for escapism so we eat for comfort and excessive pleasure. So if we fix the emotional intelligence issue, we might have a shot at fixing our comfort eating issue. Even replacing junk comfort food with healthy options is not sustainable in the long run, we’d require more and more hits to feel better in the long run.
I no longer self-harm or smoke weed.
Starting my weight loss journey with intense workouts too early. I would bleed through my gums and down south and my knees took a beating and I was always in pain and I continued to add weight and I was always riddled with guilt. The only time I saw results for a year was when I paced myself by beginning with low impact exercises and working my way up to high impact exercises after I had changed my diet prior to intense workout for 3 months. I had allowed my body reset itself through fasting and healthy food and I was working on my emotional and mental health before while focusing on Yoga and Pilates for 3 months before venturing near any form of cardio or strength building exercises. I worked my way up steadily from 10mins to 1hour exercises.
Shit happens but we underestimate the effect it can have on us especially when your finances are out of control and you can’t control what’s been served. I got thrown off balance by a series of tumultuous circumstances that I stayed in emergency mode and conserved my mental energy for the basic life functions while everything else took a back seat including my fitfam journey.
Recovery is ongoing.
12 weeks would not fix 2 decades of bad behavior. Aim for 6 months to a year and a life time journey.
My image in my mind is that I am destined to be forever fat so I unconsciously sabotage myself after hitting 85kg. I have not been able to shift past 85kg to 70kg because I go into panic mode like I am losing the one stable source of identity I have of myself.
You are not sure you are going to lose weight. Not enough activation energy to actually want to commence that journey. False sense of self acceptance. Denial that your weight is why you have low energy and other health issues. The fear of being slim and attractive because you think its going to make you promiscuous, proud, and attractive to predators. Financial Instability.
Phew… how real was that?
Ok let me take down the heat just a little…
Oma is a Client I absolutely LOVED working with so when she quit, it paineeeeeed me well!!!
For me, stress was one major factor. When I started my journey, true I was under a lot of emotional pressure because of my marriage breaking down etc. but I did my best to eliminate every other form of stress.
At that point apart from going to work, losing weight was the ONLY other major commitment I had so I wanted able to give it at least close to 100%. But then Christmas came, I had to travel and my schedule/ well-constructed weight loss niche was rocked
After that I just couldn’t get back in the groove again. When I got back to work, a lot of things had also changed… new job post, new relationships that demanded so much of my attention… I just could let go back to that place of focus anymore.
Then May came along, I got my PR to relocate… yet another major stressor… like I haven’t known stress like this before… sometimes the only familiar thing you know when you’re stressed is food… provides comfort when everything else feels familiar
So my major problem / set back with my weight loss journey has been STRESS and a lack of proper routine.
What has stopped me from picking up myself to try again?
Disappointment. When I see that last year I lost 20kg and now, have gained all that back, when I remember all the hard work I put in and how I have just let myself slip so far, I feel mentally exhausted to even try again.
Phew!!! This is REAL!!!
Ok Faith brings Reporter skills to this, speaking both for herself and others…
Personally, I feel the reason why people quit during their weight loss journey or don’t even want to start the journey is because they don’t want to let go of their favorite food. For me noodles is my best meal. And since I’ve been on this journey I’ve had to stop. It’s sometimes hard to stay away from it because it’s something you’ve been used to eating, probably since childhood. It becomes difficult to break away (won’t say it’s an addiction though).
Another reason is that they don’t see changes even when they are being truthful on the journey, they don’t see their desired success result. This kills their moral and makes them quit.
Third reason is that you can find yourself in places you ought not to find yourself (environment). Personally the kind of work I do, I could be home or on board and when the hunger hits, I find myself eating what is available to me and put weight loss on the back burner. Once you cheat on the journey, you start to guilt trip yourself.
Also if you don’t have a supportive spouse. For instance, if the woman is on the big side and her spouse is on the slim side, he probably just wants to eat and feel okay. He might not see reasons why you should lose weight. It could affect the woman’s confidence level. At the end you want to satisfy your spouse. Then you find yourself doing what you ought not to.
Chioma kept it short but spoke her truth…
Typically a person will give up because they feel like they are not getting or seeing their desired result. For me, if I expect that I would lose 1kg after week 1, and my scale shows me I haven’t lost any or that I even gained after all the effort. I will just spiral downwards.
About not starting, sometimes you feel like it’s too late to start. Where do I begin from? I’m already fat, what is the worst that can happen?
Gosh, reading these just makes me want to DO SOMETHING to help NOW!!!
Let us see what Fiyin had to say on her own journey to weight loss
I have had to go on a weight loss journey several times and for various reasons. Two occasions was obviously post pregnancy weight and other times would be from the realization that I was out of shape and needed an intervention fast as I was likely struggling to shift the weight using my own methods. The decision to embark on a new journey each time is never an easy one because I know the price to be paid and for me there is never a good or convenient time to pay that price. It is never just about sticking to well-balanced meal plans and working out but essentially coming to a place of pure nakedness and vulnerability and facing your own self with all your ugliness and insecurities and just yielding all of that to the Holy Spirit directly or many times CoachE.
Of course I want to loose weight! Who does not? But I hesitate and delay because I am not ready to be honest about the real reason why I eat biscuits by the pack or groundnuts by the bottle. I really don’t want to detach my emotional well-being from its daily salve of cake and hot chocolate on the sofa just before bedtime. I don’t want my eating preferences scrutinized by anyone most especially by myself. I know I have come to CoachE at least three times back at my original weight or sometimes even heavier. Each time I return, I realize that I am in a group of like-minded women just doing their very best and encouraging each other. Every time I feel like a fat lazy failure, I simply admit to the group my mistakes and sometimes after a bit of humor, a kind word is said or someone shows some empathy and is able to relate to my position at that time. The bottom line is, in order to begin this or any weight loss journey, I have needed to first be honest with myself. That takes courage.
Soooo true!!! My first weight loss journey started with bring HONEST and truth hurts mehn!!!
Ending with Toyin and she brings a whole new angle…
I think sometimes you just miss your past, the food you ate, you just get comfortable. You have worked so much on yourself to a point that your body can no longer take it. You don’t want to work out or eat veggies, all you want is some comfort food (sharwama and the likes.).
It is hard because it is a direct shift from where you are coming from. And before you know it you go back to it. When people begin to tell you of your weight gain, you become nonchalant about it.
For myself, I pick out a day were I eat smoked fish and chips (my favorite). It could be once or twice a month.
Also there could be days or a week of no work out just enjoy your luxury food.
Sometimes you just need a break from the weight loss. A break to relax, think, and re strategize.
It’s not all about weight loss but also about achieving ones potential.
This was REAL!!!
Weight loss is really not straight forward, and can be a hard road leading up to it. A lot of us can relate with their stories but most importantly, I hope that this makes you take the plunge to at least START!!!
I will be back with another #CEOriginals and if you have any suggestions, do let me know. The next would be a direct contrast to this, most likely and that is YOU ARE TOO SKINNY now haha.
There I would also share my own story and then a couple of my other squaddies
Drop a comment let me know your thoughts on this
Love and Strength