N.B This post was first published in 2020

Hey Fitfam,

I am excited about this post because I get to share from my experience as a Coach. I just published a post on where I shared how I had been self-sabotaging my emotions, thanks to feedback.

How feedback was sabotaging my emotional health…

Now again, thanks to feedback from my coaching, I would like to share very common ways I see people sabotage their weight goals.

Been on this coaching grind for over 4 years now, and have coached in 1000s. 

That makes me qualified to share this.

DISCLAIMER: If any reference sounds like you, guess what? It may be you OR may not be you. Matter of fact, no single case here is unique so don’t take anything personal.

Thank you.

So yes, you have goals and you even signed up with a Coach, but MONTHS and YEARS later, your goals are as elusive as your fat is adhesive. Here are my top 5 reasons people self-sabotage their weight loss goals

1.Lying to yourself

Ah, this one has to be my number one, because I was right on this table. I weighed 106kg and was 6months post-partum. I lied to myself that it was as a result of breastfeeding. Lol. Thank God my sister and cousin checked my whole life and called out my self-sabotaging lie. And that call-out made me resolute to lose the weight.

Four months later, I had lost 30kg and was back to my pre-pregnancy size.

That same drive has made me keep the weight off for over 4 years now.

A lot of you lie to yourselves, and moms are especially guilty.We also have a way of blaming other people and things.

I recall this sister who had gone through one of these life circumstances that make most people gain weight. I knew she had gained nothing less than 15 – 20kg but somehow, she would say she gained only 7kg or so. I was shocked. Almost 9months later, the weight was still there and finally, the scale proved me right.

She had over 10kg to lose but by lying to herself, she kept making it look like she didn’t have much work to do.

And a lot of people lie to themselves in many ways like that

It is JUST Xkg, I will lose it quickly

I am not really that fat

It is the drugs I am taking

It is breastfeeding

It is hormonal

It is my period

I am not really that fat, it is only my tummy

I don’t really eat ooo, I don’t know why I am fat


Keeping the fat right where it should not be… ON YOUR BODY!!!

“For if you embrace the truth, it will release true freedom into your lives”
John 8:32 TPT

Truth sets free, my sister. Let’s tell ourselves the truth like I did…


I lack discipline


I have no control over food

And then, don’t stop there, write out a plan to deal with the demons.

And whatever you tell yourself, top of that list should be IT WILL NOT BE EASY.

No lifestyle change is easy but guess what? We have the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit.


Let’s stop the lies please

2.I don’t care about my BALLOONING weight

Ok, technically this is another lie, but it had to get its own special number 2 lol. 

You lie that you don’t care about your weight or the physical, but what is unseen that matters.


Can we keep it a 100%?


You and I care about our weight and dress size.

And it is in our lucid moments then come to the fore, but that concern is present as a hum in the background of our hearts, don’t lie.

After all, everywhere you go, there you are.

You want to dress up in the morning and it is a chore because the dresses are not fitting anymore.

You can’t cross your legs anymore…

Tooth ache persists, and so does leg ache

You pant even after increasingly simple physical activities, like walking to the fridge.

Getting out of bed is a chore, EVERY TIME

You can’t just spontaneously lose yourself in praise and worship, contouring your body to any shape that allows you to freely express how you really feel to God. Your body won’t allow

You care, my sister. You care.

And admitting that is the best way to fix it.

And no, this is not about body shaming or self-confidence.

It is not about other parts of your life working so this does not matter.

This is about presenting the BEST version of your physical body to the Lord as a service and tool to do God’s work for you on earth.

“She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm”
Proverbs 31:17 AMPC

You should care my dear #JesusGirl, and if you do not care, you should be bothered

But you and I know that YOU CARE!!!!

And the dangerous thing about lying to yourself (and others) that you do not care, is that you soon start to indulge in some secretive but dangerous habits

Drinking purgatives, forcefully throwing up (bulimia) or worse still, you start getting depressed and suicidal.

I lie not, I have dealt with all of these.

Truth saves ooo.

3.Too much Money

Haaa, this one is huge, especially if you have the issue of number 2, or not.

When money increases, fat increases, then money, a blessing from God, makes you start to self-sabotage.

Everything you see, since you can afford it, you buy.

No more self-control, and instagram vendors won’t even let you rest again

No wonder the Bible says 

“The more wealth people have, the more “friends” they have to help spend it. So the rich really gain nothing. They can only look at their wealth”
Ecclesiastes 5:11 ERV

I am constantly amazed at people who have no brakes on spending on food.

Eating out and ordering in becomes your reality. God forbid you cook at home, or order healthy.

Portion control nko? 

Lailai. When money is not the problem.

If you even have a way of tracking expenses, you find at the end

at the end of the month that a lot of your money has bowed to the god of your stomach.

Every supermarket that opens or you pass by, you must enter and shop.

Digestive, hobnobs, chocolate, all manner of drinks, you indulge.

Any eatery or online food vendor that launches, you order daily, and in variety.

But God forbid you let that money work positively for you and your health.

Then when it is time to sign up for my program, you say it is EXPENSIVE.

Lol, sometimes I feel like slapping some people.

Yes, I said it. But I just smile.

It is a Doctor’s report or depression that will push you to me or another Coach.

I am waiting. We all are.

You see, you cannot let your money make you stupid. 

You can’t let your blessing become a curse.


And this even applies to free lunch at work, because for some of you, a promotion comes, or you get a new job with free lunch, you EAT! EAT! EAT!.

Before you know it, 10kg has come on you 2 months into the job. My sister, put the brakes on. Don’t let money or free food run your life.


Be the boss of your choices, whether or not the options are there!

When I lost weight back then, I was BROKE. It made my journey FASTER!!! Who dash me banana bread or Hobnobs and Digestive. Where did I see any money to buy 5-alive?

Now, by God’s grace, I can afford to indulge, but the girl is wise.I can’t eat my future away.

And you too should not!!!

Side note: Check out my post on affordable Fitfam investments here.

How I INVEST smartly into my Fitfam lifestyle

4. Health challenges

This one hurts me because while the sickness was not your fault, your reaction to it was well within the radius of your control, ma

I see people sign up and are going strong for 10 weeks and boom, they fall ill (which can be normal when your body is undergoing a change), then because the scale stopped moving or they gain weight (again normal as you may not have control as you normally had), but instead of you to still stay as much as you can on the grind, you let the figures on the scale first steal your joy, then your resolve, then all the time and energy you invested in those 10weeks that made you lose 6kg. Then you give up.

Three months later, the sickness has gone, but it left you 15kg heavier.


My sister, if you are sick on your weight loss journey, DO NOT GIVE UP ALTOGETHER,

Don’t discount the importance of accountability ooo. Even if all you do is remain in the squad, it can help a long way, than being outside. Staying with your coach may see you gaining 3kg from the 8kg you lost, and that is a MAJOR WIN because riding solo and deciding to first go and get better before coming back, will MOST LIKELY see you slack and gain more than the 8kg back even in 3weeks.

You see, I have some really wise ladies I coach. Every time their program is up, they re-subscribe. Even if all they lost in 6weeks was 1kg. But they KNOW that outside the squad and without a coach, they would have gained 5kg instead in those 6weeks.

So whether they are sick, well, whole, in town, travelling, transiting jobs, undergoing a surgery, recovering from a surgery, etc., they ride with us.

Those people KNOW something,

Unfortunately, some don’t.

And then a health challenge sabotages everything and then they find it SO HARD to get back on board for YEARS until maybe things get so bad… and they are left with no choice.


And finally

5. Lack of patience and unrealistic expectations

All of us have been here and I would keep it short here. Ah, these Siamese twins are bad. Weight you have had for years, you think a 6week program will make a massive difference. Like, I am beat when someone says to me that her tummy is still big after 3weeks, I am like “Aunty, please chill, ma”

Let me tell you how to approach weight loss… with the mindset of I AM HERE UNTIL THE ENTIRE FAT goes.

You see, Ihuoma joined me NINE MONTHS ago. She had 6weeks or so when the scale didn’t move but she stayed persistent. Started at well over 100kg and now almost in the 70s. 

Many started with her and then gave up because magic didn’t happen and the scale decided to reward them for their inconsistency.

Frankly I taya…

“We don’t want you to be lazy. We want you to be like those who, because of their faith and patience, will get what God has promised”

Hebrews 6:12 ERV

My sister, it is FAITH and PATIENCE that gives us results, not by liking pictures and claiming it as your portion. Or starting, getting impatient and greedy, then quitting TEN times in a year.

Commit your journey to God, ask Him for help daily and then STAY THE COURSE ma. With patience and consistency.

That’s not all, but I want to stop here.

Which can you sincerely identify with?

Which is your own demon that I missed?

Share with me in the comments and cheers for quitting every self-sabotaging act on the way to a body that’s fit and string enough to OBEY GOD!!!

Your #JesusGirlsFitness Coach,


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